These days modern living can be overwhelming. It’s little wonder that, as we enter a third year of a global pandemic, it’s necessary for us to discover new ways to destress. It feels as if we’ve all received an unrequested demand from the universe, insisting on our personal growth. If you feel like you’re flailing, you are not alone. So now what? Mask, check. Vaccine, check. Booster, check. Despite taking handwashing to a whole new level, we are still left with unsettled minds. The human brain is wired to keep us out of danger. The primitive part of our brain, the amygdala, works 24/7 to look for ways to ensure our safety. And for many of us, it will not quit.
One of the first steps to sanity is to get consciously grounded in the present moment. Inhale, and take a deep breath. It’s only from a place of clarity that we see the situations we have control over. We control our social interactions. We control where and when we grocery shop. We control how much news we consume on the subject of Covid-19. Becoming aware that we have some control, and recognizing where these points are, helps settle the mind down. Experts say that changing our perspective, and therefore our energy, is a critical component to well-being. According to Joe Dispenza, Doctor of Chiropractic, scientist, and New York Times bestselling author, it’s important for people to take time out of the day to change their energy in order to change their circumstances. “If you can change your energy when everything in your body, your mind, your spirit, and your environment seem to be conspiring against you– if you can reconnect to the energy and emotions of your future, in that moment– I promise you, you’re going to alter your reality in some way.”
Andrew Huberman, doctor and Professor of Neuroscience and Ophthalmology at U.C. Davis, says an essential activity for destressing is to develop a gratitude practice. “Gratitude is a mindset that activates the prefrontal cortex, and in doing so, sets the context of your experience, such that you derive tremendous health benefits.” Huberman maintains that not every kind of gratitude practice works, however. In his Apple Podcast he reports that making a list and feeling grateful for what you have- isn’t enough. Your brain can’t be tricked. “… you simply can’t lie to yourself. You simply can’t say, oh well, every experience is a learning experience.” Our brains know when things, clearly, are not well. Huberman says that the exercise that brings the most beneficial results to the practitioner is to receive gratitude from someone else. It’s not every day people go around extolling our virtues. Luckily, one can get the same effect from watching, and connecting with, two other people exchanging stories of gratitude. Huberman says that story is deeply embedded in the human psyche. Our brains respond powerfully to the stories we tell each other, so build a network of people for whom you are grateful, and who are grateful for you.
There’s another practice worth looking at and that’s developing the art of self-compassion. Rather than trying to garner self-esteem, which is derived from external sources, self-compassion is an inside job. It’s rooted in some simple ideas. The first is practicing self-kindness instead of self judgement. Give yourself the kind of support you would give a close friend. The second is to realize we all share a common humanity. Kristin Neff, author, doctor, Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, states on her website, “…self-compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience – something that we all go through rather than being something that happens to “me” alone.”
Destressing can be done in those brief moments in the busy day where you can take a deep breath and ground yourself. The practice of exchanging gratitude isn’t an airy-fairy thing, but a real way to restore your health and bring a more positive context to any situation. And last, give yourself a break. We humans learn through our mistakes and everyone makes them, including you. It’s a natural part of our evolution. In short, appreciate yourself. Remind yourself that you are doing a great job, and one day this will be over.